The Cost of Loving You So Much

She touches me in ways that shouldn’t be allowed. It’s not fair at times but who am I to complain, right? Here I am making it seem like she’s the best. Well, that’s because she is. For something to infiltrate my mental state as much as she does, she’s a force worth reckoning with. So alive. Then so alone. And the award for best actor goes to… I feel like I’m in a state of delirium. Not even the best drugs could lift me so high and hold me so low all at once. In order to keep my personal focus on par, I have to stay kinetic. I have to keep the gears churning. Even if that means grinding them down to nothing. I’ll replace them as I needed. I said it once, I’ll say it a hundred thousand times. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do. The torture chamber, did it. Guillotine, did it. Exile, did it. What else? I mean,  I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I’m willing a capable of doing because of her. I remain a student to every lesson. No matter how un-idealistic the lessons may be. Sitting back watching time pass is the hardest. Every second counts and if anybody has ever told you otherwise, they have a lot to learn. Perhaps you’ll understand. Or maybe I’m still just “Talking to the Moon.”


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