The Sum of All Things

There comes a time when we all have to do something that fills us with fear. Leaving home for the first time, preforming in front of a large crowd, or even falling in love. These things are scary because we want to be our best at them. But let’s take a step back and think about this for a moment. If you were leaving home with a friend chances are you’re not going to be as scared as if you were leaving alone. If you were practicing your performance in front of people you know, you’re probably comfortable and relaxed. And if you just met someone that you have no feeling for you’re probably not going to be afraid at all to be around them. We get these certain emotions for a very specific reason. It’s because of the potential we see in whatever the activity or situation is that has us on edge. I’ll use myself as an example. There’s nothing I want more than the Girl in the Story. That’s just that way things work. But if she were to call me right now chances are I would not answer the phone. Why? For me, it’s her voice. I remember her voice. I love her voice. But to hear it scares me half to death. Reason being, I know what that voice can do to me.

The sum of all things. What this means is that we tend to nevermind things that we hold dear to us for a variety of reasons. The main and most influential reason is the people around us. If you have friends telling you-you should do something you’re probably going to, at least, try it even if it’s something you know you don’t want to do. But what about the things we want to do? Allow me to explain. 

The girl in the story would say that she domesticated me. Still don’t understand what that means but if she did that then essentially I had to change in some way at some point. It was obviously something that was necessary for me to make that change. Even though I didn’t realize what she was doing to me or for me, I did notice things around me changing. Quality of life improved tremendously. Priorities became more clear and the biggest picture was placed in a glass frame. 

On top of it all, I have an obligation that must be fulfilled (that I haven’t really been doing too great at). The greatest gifts she ever gave me besides all her love is the four Beautiful little girls that complete that big picture. Being there to watch them grow is just as important as them learning how to deal with everything life throws at them. A shoulder to cry on.. Sound advice… Even an ear to listen.. All things I use to provide and it’s a major part missing from my life. When all these things come together for me, I admit, it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever known. But it’s scary because I know the potential that comes with all these things coming together. It’s a matter of my life being complete of completely empty. The girl in the story has been gone for quite some time. Since she’s been gone I’ve seen her smile.. I’ve heard her cry.. But one thing I haven’t seen is her give anybody what she gave me. We held each other down to the fullest. We were a team.. All Stars.. We made things happen.  And we loved it for the most part. We got together at a young age and she missed out on a lot of things that I had the opportunity to experience. Now that she’s back from that soul vacation… I wonder if she was lonely looking for herself out there. Searching for the person that I’ve known all along. Add it all up and even a blind man could see the answer.. It is essentially.. THE SUM OF ALL THINGS. 


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